Divorce is one of the top 5 reasons many debtors turn to bankruptcy. If you are going through this situation, know that you are not alone. The following is one woman’s story about how divorce and bankruptcy turned her life around, in ways she could never have expected.
Finding Courage to Make the Difficult Decisions
When I first got married 12 years ago, I always thought I would carry the title wife. I never thought I would add divorce and bankruptcy to my reputation, but I’m continuing to learn that life never goes as planned. Today I am grateful both opportunities were available to me. They’ve turned out to be the best thing for me.
Many of my friends and family looked at my decision to get divorced after 10 years of marriage as a mistake. They worried about my future and the future of my children. I’ll admit I had those concerns, too. However, my marriage was failing and both my ex-husband and I knew it was time to call it quits in order to provide better home lives for our children. The decision to get divorced did not come easily, but we worked it out amicably and went our separate ways.
Unforeseen Costs of Divorce
While my family worried needlessly about the divorce, they did not worry at all (and neither did I) about what would come after the divorce was final. During the divorce and the months thereafter, I racked up significant debt paying for unforeseen costs, costs I didn't anticipate as I made the emotional decision to end my marriage.
First, there were costs associated with filing for the divorce. Although the proceedings were cordial, they still cost money in attorney fees, filing fees and other miscellaneous fees such as ending our family cell phone plan early.
Then, there were costs for setting up a new home. Neither of us could afford the mortgage on our home on our own, so we sold the house in a short sale for a loss. I had to find a suitable rental, pay security deposits and then fill the home with the essentials my ex got in the divorce, such as a new television, a new bed and dresser and kitchen appliances.
With shared custody, there were also increased transportation and care costs. Driving back and forth between drop-offs, pick-ups and events were doubled because they were places we used to travel to together. The children also now had to attend after school care because I had to increase my hours at work to try and keep up with all of these costs.
To add insult to injury, my son broke his leg during a basketball game and so medical bills were added on top of all my credit card bills and monthly costs.
These costs quickly ate up the balances on my credit cards and pushed my monthly budget to the max. I stopped paying on my credit cards. The medical bills were sent to collections. Creditors began hounding me on the phone all hours of the day.
This stress, combined with the emotional toll of the divorce, became too much to bear, and I didn't know where to turn.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
Thankfully, a close friend suggested the answer to my problems and helped me truly turn my life around, exactly the way I hoped a divorce would.
Over coffee one day, I let loose about my financial troubles and how much stress and anguish they were causing me. I told her how I felt physically ill, was suffering at work and found myself losing patience with my children during the times they were in my custody. I didn't recognize myself.
She suggested I talk to an attorney about bankruptcy. My first reaction was to refuse to listen. Divorce and bankruptcy? That wasn't how I envisioned my life turning out.
But my friend explained to me about her own bankruptcy proceedings – how it ended the constant stress and pressure she felt that had overwhelmed her life. She helped me see bankruptcy isn’t a personal flaw. Unemployment, the housing bubble and the troubled financial sector sent many middle class families, those who never thought they would utter the words bankruptcy, seeking the protection and relief bankruptcy is meant to provide.
I made the call the next day and immediately felt my stress levels plummet. My attorney was kind, empathetic and assured me I wasn't alone in my situation, facing divorce and bankruptcy in the same year.
One year later, my life completely turned around. I'm financially stable and emotionally strong. My children benefited, my career benefited and I benefited. Looking back on the last year and where I am today, I can truly say divorce and bankruptcy changed my life, for the better.
If you are looking for this type of relief during your divorce, or any other financially challenging time, contact a bankruptcy attorney. Start your journey to financial and emotional stability.
